Yesterday my dad was taken to MD Anderson Cancer Center, with hopes that they would begin chemotherapy to help with the cancer in his liver and lungs. Upon seeing the doctor, they told my mother that he should not receive it because one dose could be fatal and he could die. My dad is very weak and in alot of pain. The doctor before this one told my mom that he expected my dad to live about 6-12 more months. This doctor told my mom about 3 more months give or take a week. Needless to say my mom is beside herself, but she has to remain strong and continue to take care of my dad till his last day. She can't give up and neither can he.
I am truly an emotional wreck. 3 months? It just isn't long enough for me. I don't want to say goodbye to him. I have great memories of my dad and I, but I want to continue to make more. I mean, seriously, his oldest grandchild, my son, is only 16, will be 17 in November, around that 3 month mark, and my son is named after him. My son and daughter both started crying last night when I told them. The distance that we live away from my parents has not allow it to sink in as we haven't seen my dad yet, but are going down there next weekend.
I am really sad for my mom. I just can't imagine the loneliness that she is going to be going through after being with my dad for 37 years. I have told her that if she wants to be by family she is more than welcome to move up here with her trailer and put it on our land. She says she has friends there, but will visit us as often as she can.
Anyway, I have a box of pictures to go through today, my mom wants some of my dad and all the memories we have made together. I am not looking forward to the emotions of going through those pictures tomorrow.
XOXOXOX
Brenda
